You get to decide what kind of content you see when you log in. Get a better face.”, Suffering from an unsightly scaly rash, my friend Denise made an appointment with a dermatologist who happened to be very attractive. I must have sounded rushed, because the woman on the phone said,... Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. “I thought she was a year and a half.”, “But Aunt Marie," I said, “18 months and a year and a half are the same.”, She shrugged. The first thing I did when I heard our great-granddaughter was born was to text my son: “You are a great uncle!” He texted me back immediately: “Thank you. Reply. “Do you have kids?” “No,” he said, “and I never will.”. He replied, “Yes, I talked with the horse, and he didn’t have any suggestions or answers for the project.”. Continue reading the main story. “That sounds great. Frustrated, he left. This "porn" is 100% SFW (Safe for work) because it contains nothing but pure, stunning vistas found in nature. 16 More Tweets About What An Absolute Mess 2020 Has Been So Far. “Ha ha,” I laughed nervously. “I’ll tell you when... My husband and I spent a rare day with our youngest grandson Malakai, as they live 350 miles away. “I have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,” I complained to my grandson. He said he didn’t like green, not at all. Apparently we were not the only dissatisfied patrons. You are the winner,” says the emcee to the man. There was an uncomfortable silence as I realized the doctor had heard every word. “I have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,” I complained to my grandson.... My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. You won't find any football memes in the Superb Owl subreddit, but you will find some of the coolest owl pictures, stories, videos, and memes on the web. Me: You can be anything you want. 2020 Election; We're Not Gonna Know Anything For Hours, So Here Are Some Funny Fake Electoral Maps People Are Making On Twitter "An electoral map if Biden wins every state containing area codes where Ludacris claimed to have hoes." Go to this page and click create app or create another appbutton at the bottom left. We’ll send your costume tomorrow,” the representative said. “It’s not personal.” His response was hard to argue with: “If it’s not personal, then why do they use your name?”. It has been a tough year, but science still brought us some weird, cool and quirky findings . Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, “All right, Johnny, it’s time to go to sleep now.” There was quiet in the room, and then he said, “OK, God, I will.” I didn’t hear a peep from him until morning. I pooped on the floor too! This subreddit will make you feel better about yourself, because at least you're not this cringey. Heck, there's a whole subreddit devoted to gifs of baby elephants. “In the meantime, feel free to keep the Lady Godiva costume you got by mistake.”. There was one: “What’s a colleague?”. Anyone who ever rocked a terrible haircut and braces back in 7th grade will recognize the cringe in these pics! “You’re welcome” is prego. “But don’t worry,” I said with a grin. “Remember that baby bird we found on the sidewalk the other day?” she asked. But 2020 boasts a number of films that are destined to be … My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip. Reddit Funny Stories 2020 - Best Compilation ( reddit stories | r/askreddit ) A pilot who shared a repulsive story about coffee on Reddit has people questioning whether they'd ever want to order the hot beverage on a flight again . Back to the Index of Best Funny Short Stories. From Rapping Robots to Glowing Frogs: Our Favorite Fun Stories of 2020. “What country is that in?”, Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. The Best Funny Stories and Jokes A collection of the funniest stories and jokes on various topics. A second later, a voice from upstairs
responded, “OK!”. I hope life brings you much success. "My dog, Libby, rides with me to pick up my kids from school, and she knows exactly what time we leave. Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended, I’d asked “Who is it?”. I found him sleeping on the sofa. Flavors. He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for sale. With all of the subreddits available it can be daunting to know where to start, but we've got you covered! You can find the best, most unexplainable paranormal stories, career advice, NSFW sex questions, and much, much more on this page. “That’s us in ten years,” he says. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Man Gets Arrested For Creeping This Lady Out on a Bus. I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. Sure, these aren't the most interesting pictures or stories that you've ever seen, but they're still pretty interesting and worth talking about. When we were kids, we would race each other down the stairs every morning to sweep up the bar and find the change customers had dropped during the night. “I know what you mean,” she said. Walking back to our car afterward, we overheard a man complain to his wife, “We left the dog home alone for that?”. A sign on the front porch gave me my answer: “It’s an Uncle!”. Some of them are deep, but most of them are just musings that you might find to be surprisingly relatable. “Yesterday was my 18th birthday!” a customer said after walking into our convenience store. I was describing my job as an engineer to some middle schoolers when I mentioned that “one of my colleagues and I designed a medical instrument for measuring human muscle... A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. Which is why we were surprised the next day when he didn’t show up for his shift. “What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide. “I’m leaving my son for collateral.” She looked at him. wowwww ths is so lovely of you people. That’s when my youngest son pointed out that the “11” I was seeing on the screen was actually the game’s pause button. Just as I was about to dig in, he picked up an oyster, examined it, and commented, “They remind me of infected tonsils.”And that’s the story of how he ended up eating the entire plate of oysters himself. He winked at her. Stay up-to-date. People That Have Willingly Engaged in Incest Share Their Stories August 3, 2020 Leave a comment. One little girl answered, “Birthdays!”, If I ever voiced disapproval of a photo of myself, my mother always had a ready reply: “Want a better picture? A few minutes later, I passed him outside the office on the phone.“Hey, Dad,” he said. “No,” said the teen. Interested, she confessed that she, too, was considering retirement. You can change your subscriptions said Ivan. “What else you got?”. Separated from our cellphones, standing under running water often allows people’s minds to run free. … Did you learn something cool today? His Explanation to the Judge was Golden. 2020 is still far from over but a lot of people think that it’s one of the worst years in recent modern history. When I described it to a coworker as “I’m a jack of all trades, master of none,” I was amused, yet slightly offended, when she offered a less than complimentary interpretation from her native Cantonese: “Equipped with knives all over, yet none are very sharp.”. My three-year-old grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. Spotted on a business marquee in Tacoma, Washington: MY BOSS TOLD ME TO CHANGE THE SIGN, SO I DID. The Best Funny Stories and Jokes A collection of the funniest stories and jokes on various topics. On the morning my friend went into labor, I happened to drive by her house, wondering what she’d had. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his left, and cruised straight through the stop sign. Who else wants to go there right this instant?! These pics are always awesome, and the images found in this subreddit will not disappoint. Reddit has an entire “Shower Thoughts” … I wish you a very happy day. But I’ll clean it! “That’s Mum’s side.”. Tanned, relaxed, and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. Ask Reddit is a forum where people can ask a question of the community and get responses from people from all walks of life. They're not trying to make any big points or hurt anybody's feelings; they're simply trying to make you smile. “That’s us in ten years,” he says. by Casey Rackham. My husband and I spent a rare day with our youngest grandson Malakai, as they live 350 miles away. … The woman quickly learned that Mom was retired. Your accounts lets you Digg (upvote) stories, save stories to revisit later, and more. I took my eight-year-old niece to a Chicago Blackhawks hockey game against the Montreal Canadians. “I can’t remember,” she said. At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. I made his initials with glitter paint, green glitter paint. ". Yes, really! This subreddit is your source for funny memes that you can feel good about laughing at. After my beloved dog Lucky passed away, my daughter tried to explain to her four-year-old son what had happened in terms he might understand. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. When our manager asked why she’d worn her wedding dress to the office, my coworker replied, “I was out of clean clothes and didn’t feel like doing laundry.” —Lauren Emily on Facebook, via buzzfeed.com. The 5 Funny Websites You Should Read Every Day. Visiting Annapolis, I noticed several plebes on their hands and knees holding pencils and clipboards. Nanda Doneparthy September 2, 2020, 11:15 pm. I checked on my six-year-old son one morning, and he wasn’t in his bed. Sign in with Twitter Sign in with Facebook Sign in with Google Welcome to Digg. Thanks for sharing! “I thought she was a year and a half.” “But Aunt Marie,”... My daughter was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding discouraged. I told him when he got home, and he was inconsolable. He kept the patter up for some time. If you have any doubts, refer to Praw documentatio… This subreddit is the ultimate time-killer. This is just a sampling of the thousands of subreddits available for your reading pleasure. During a high school visit to France, I stayed with a French family. “You know, I always used to wish I could whistle,” he said. “I don’t think I’ll ever get these flowers planted,” she moaned.... My six-year-old loved his pet fish. After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head and asked, “Denise, did you get your hair done?” “Why, yes. “Interesting.” After a pause, he said, “Let’s get an impression—” “It’s more observational humor, actually,” I interrupted. “No, I want the left side!” “I want the left side!” “No, I want the left side!” Intervening, I said, “Since Eric is older, he can have the left side.” “Thanks, Dad!” said Eric. Nanda Doneparthy September 2, 2020, 11:15 pm. We crafted, painted, and colored. One day, a newly appointed bright-looking girl came to the register and said loudly, "Turn me on!". The kids had an after-school activity so I needed to pick them up an hour later than usual. I wore it confidently to an evening... A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. The customer,... “Yesterday was my 18th birthday!” a customer said after walking into our convenience store. BuzzFeed Staff, by Allie Hayes. 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